alinaadams

My heart is overflowing with a good theme. I recite my composition concerning my King. My tongue is like the pen of a ready writer…

Is it time yet? January 10, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — Alina Adams @ 9:50 PM

It wouldn’t be enough for me to say that I am amazed with God! What an amazing year this is already proving to be. Not amazing because of anything material or because of anything natural. Amazing because I am finding love again. I am finding romance again. No not in any man. But in everything that God is doing in my life right now. Nothing seems so bad anymore. Nothing seems so painful anymore. And nothing seems impossible anymore. In the last few weeks I have found the strength to do things, to believe things, to hope for things that I thought would never happen. I’ve taken risks and seen God move. I feel like my heart is back in tune with God’s.

This last week God challenged me. It was a stressful week for me and I started to give in to doubt and worry again. The challenge that God gave me this week was about trust. He wanted to know how much I was willing to trust Him with. Would I trust Him with only the things that I could afford to lose? Or would I trust Him with the things that I felt I couldn’t live without? Would I trust Him enough to just wait?

It’s alittle ironic that while God is teaching me to trust Him and just wait, that I am forced to wait for Baby Bella to be born. Everyday I wake up wondering “is it time now?”. But everyday that she doesnt come I have to wait a little longer. I feel like waiting on God is alot like the anxiety of waiting for pregnancy to end! I have no idea when it will come, but I know that when it does I am getting something amazing and worth the wait! Right now God is taking me through my own birthing process. Of just waiting and waiting and waiting. And the only thing that is getting me through this, with all the pain and discomfort that comes with it, is knowing that He is creating something perfect! I have looked up every possible way to make Bella come faster! And everything I’ve read says that unless your body is already prepared for baby to come there is no way of speeding up the process. It will just happen when it’s time! I’ve tried so many times to speed up the process with God only to find that my efforts are useless. Now I’m learning just to endure the process and all that comes with it and let it happen when it happens! Just like I would never want my Baby to be premature God doesnt want His blessing to be either. He wants us to experience the fullness of His blessings at the best possible time!

Alina

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Don’t look back, beloved… January 6, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — Alina Adams @ 4:55 PM

Only 6 days into this year, and already it’s been more than I expected. I had no new years resolutions, only great expectations. I knew that this year was not going to be easy and that I would be faced with more than I thought I could handle. And that’s exactly what makes it perfect! I am in the perfect season of my life for divine favor and grace and revelation. I can’t see what’s happening, I don’t understand what is going on, and I have no idea what to do! I am perfectly positioned for an encounter from God!

Today I was feeling a little overwhelmed. As I was praying and asking God all these questions, asking Him to show me what to do, asking Him for this and that, I became frustrated because He wasn’t telling me anything. He was quiet. Then He told me exactly what I needed to hear. He told me to rest. Rest is the last thing I feel like doing right now! I want answers! I want to see things happen! But He keeps telling me to just rest, don’t ask for anything, don’t worry or think about anything. Just rest and know that I see, and I understand, and I’m taking care of you. You don’t need all the answers, just rest in me and learn to enjoy my prescence. You’re so distracted by what I’m not doing or not telling you that you are forgetting who I am. I’m here! I’m faithful! I’m more than able! Stop worrying if you’re doing everything right! Just focus on me and rest!

I’ve made my share of mistakes and now I find myself worrying all the time if I’m making another mistake. Am I hearing God right? Is this really what He wants me to do? I don’t know if all the decisions I make are the right ones. But I do know that even if they’re not it’s ok. I won’t always do everything right, but God is not concerned about me being perfect. He is more interested in seeing that the intent of my heart is to do the right thing. I’m in a process and I’m learning and I will make mistakes along the way. But God knows that the condition of my heart is to do what He wants me to do. So even though I may get it wrong sometimes, it’s ok. Because His grace makes up for where I fail. I won’t make the right decision all the time but God is allowing me to chose my own path but every step He is right behind me ready to pick up the pieces I drop. Each time I make a mistake He say it’s ok, I’ll take care of this mess, you just keep moving forward. I’ll meet you there. Wow! I think that the greatest expression of love is not preventing me from making a mistake, but loving me through each and every mistake until I get it right. God’s not interested in controlling my life and dragging me along the way as He does everything for me. He is more interested in my desires than I realize.

Learn to rest my beloved. Learn to enjoy Me. Keep moving forward, don’t look behind, I’ve got everything covered back here. I’m not worried about where you’re going, I’ve already been there. So move forward and be confident that I will meet you there…

Alina

 

Books… January 4, 2011

Filed under: Books I'm reading — Alina Adams @ 6:26 PM

 

Worth the risk?

Filed under: Uncategorized — Alina Adams @ 5:48 PM

The word that God has been speaking to me lately is “risk”. He’s been telling me to take risks! To believe for those things that are impossible! To hope for those things that are beyond my ability to do on my own. To step into a life and a destiny of risk. All my life I have lived safely. Securely. Carefully. Watching my every step to make sure I didn’t step into what I could not accomplish. I set limits and drew boundaries. I unknowingly lived in fear of what I could not see or what I did not understand. I trusted what I could explain and rejected the rest. But now, in this new season God has brought me into, He is giving me a spirit of empowerment to live a risky life. To step into greater love, and grace, and favor. To start living with faith! Faith is risk, because faith believes for what it cannot see or understand.

God keeps telling me to take risks. I dont know yet exactly what kinds of risks He is talking about or what that looks like. Lately He has empowered me to take a risk in relationships. To take a risk and let go and allow Him to have control. I have held on so tightly and been unwilling to release it to God because of the fear that I may not get it back. But that is a risk I have to take! I have to be ok with losing it all, knowing that that will open the door for me to receive something better and greater! In this new season, I am taking an extreme step into faith. It’s time to stop living “safe”. Safe is comfortable, but risk is rewarding! It’s time for me to risk everything I have for everything He is. God took a risk on us. He knew we would reject him, and hate him, and curse him. But still He gave us the one thing that meant the most to Him! Apparently He thought we were worth the risk!

Taking a risk and trusting God with everything we have is scary! I know! But so worth it! We will not always see immediate results, but we will never be disappointed. Taking risks is not about getting a result. It is about God seeing our hearts and knowing that no matter what we trust him. No matter the result we have faith. When God sees our hearts in that way He knows that He can trust us with His heart. And thats when He begins to give us more! More grace, more favor, more blessing, more than we could ever ask for!

God is always always consistent but He is never predictable. He will always amaze you with what He can do. God does not move in the natural, what can be done through any human effort. He moves in the supernatural, which can only be done through Him! He wants us to seek and desire the things that we are incapable of because then He gets to step in and carry us! Safe is not what we were called to. We were called to faith! And faith takes risk…

Alina

 

Choices… December 31, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — Alina Adams @ 5:25 PM

Happy New Year’s Eve!!!

I woke up this morning with a spirit of peace that I don’t think I have felt in awhile. I woke up feeling renewed and ready for whatever the day may bring. I think that is a good way to end off the year. 2010 was not my best year and it was a season full of alot of learning and growing and transformation. There are things I would have done differently and things I would have changed if I could. But I today as I sit here and think about everything I’ve been through this last year I have peace that no matter how hard it was, or how imperfect my year may have been I can go into this next year without any baggage or regret. There is a new spirit of freedon over me and I am walking into a new season that is not defined by the last one.

If I could give this new season of mine a title I would call it “Choices”. This coming year, 2011, is all about choices for me. Last year and alot of my life has been about reaction. Reaction to my circumstances. I reacted to the bad days, the good days, the highs and lows all based on their circumstance. I lived a life of emotion. But this years is all about living not from my circumstance but rather  living from a place of freedom! My focus is not on what I don’t have, or what God has not done yet. My focus is heaven. Heaven has all things and lacks nothing. And I have complete access to the fullness of the kingdom. I chose to have joy. I chose to love. I chose to be strong. How I chose to walk through this year is up to me. Circumstances will come but I have the choice of how they will affecct me.

In 2010 I saw God’s faithfullness, grace, and favor in my life. Everyday I fought to have more of that! But this year I don’t have to fight for those things anymore. I have received a spirit of promotion which allows me to live from those things rather than for them. Im excited for this new year and all the amazing things that God is going to do! I have a spirit of expectation! Im so ready to leave all the baggage of the past year behind and walk into 2011 completely free! I have new blessings and a new annointing waiting for me and I know that heaven is about to invade my life! 🙂

Alina

 

Love… December 29, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — Alina Adams @ 7:07 AM

This is one of my favorite songs! As I watched this video today I couldn’t help but think of how many times I take LOVE for granted. My own love, my family’s love, God’s love. I guess we all ignorantly view love for less than it is.  In the past year of my life I have experienced love in it’s deepest forms. I’ve experienced hurt, and pain, and more emotions than my heart could handle. And the beautiful thing is that I found love in all of those. The prescence of those things in my life was not the absense of love but the proof that love exist! I’m still amazed that after all I’ve done God can still say I love you and nothing you’ve done matters, because I love you! Love is heaven’s standard. There’s no conditions and no requirements. He loves us because He loves us because He loves us 🙂

Now that I’m about to be a mommy I understand love better than I have before. I understand the ability and the capacity to love someone no matter what. I know love without restriction. I know love without condition…

That’s not to say that I love perfectly. Even now I find myself struggling to love. There are days I would rather be angry and not love. But what is love if it takes a day off? Anger interferes with love. When I chose to be angry with someone instead of loving them despite what they do, I’m telling them that my love for you is conditional. That I love you based on what you do for me. Love doesnt seek a return. Real love, heaven’s brand of love, is vulnerable. It lays down the right to protect itself and protecting the other person’s heart becomes it’s priority. Love doesn’t see a mistake or a flaw. Love sees the potential in a person and love’s them from there. I’m learning alot right now about how to love no matter what. To love when someone hurts me. I’m learning not to react from that hurt but to respond from love. I’m learning to love without fear. I’m not quite there yet but love heals and makes whole what I thought I had lost. Love is a process and I’m loving every day of it…

Alina

 

A New Season… December 28, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — Alina Adams @ 6:19 AM

Christmas is over now and the new year is just a few days away…Wow! I can’t believe this year is almost over. What a year it’s been! I’ve laughed, loved, lost, cried, and mostly just found myself in the greatest season of my life! I guess in certain moments I would not say that this season has been the greatest, but as this year comes to a close and I prepare to start a brand new season (Jesus just has perfect timing) I can look back and say that the hardest moments of my life are some of the greatest. Not for what they were, but for the blessings they brought. 10 months ago I felt like the bottom of my world had fallen out! I was heart broken, vulnerable, and in a scary place. And that’s exactly where I needed to be…

I don’t think that it was in God’s heart for me to be hurt, or to make the decisions I made. But it was always in His heart for me to be whole. He let me chose my own path, but He had a plan all along…He took my biggest mistake and turned it into the greatest blessing I could ask for. In less then 5 weeks I will be a mommy. When I found out I was pregnant I thought that God had given up on me. I felt like I had let him down and now I was being punished. I couldnt have been more wrong! Weeks before I found out I was pregnant God gave me a dream and he told me to remember His promises. I had no idea what He meant! Until months later, when I felt like He had given up on me for good. I told him I needed Him to remind me of His promises, because I was beginning to forget them all. By this time it was decided that my baby girl’s name would be Isabella. God told me to look up the meaning of her name. So I did…And it’s just like God to set me up like that 🙂 I looked up the name Isabella and the first definition I found was “God’s promise”. In His perfect love, He took what I thought was my punishment and gave me His promise, just like He said He would!

I’ve had my good and bad days throughout this whole season. I haven’t always trusted God like I should. I’ve doubted constantly. I guess it’s a good thing then that God is not moved by my mood. My worst day is His best day because He gets to love me a hundred times more! 🙂 I still have bad days but God is teaching me more everyday. He’s still restoring, always renewing, and His promises are still redeeming.

As the new year starts I am also starting a new season…parenthood! I’m learning to love, I’m learning to trust, and I’m learning that my circumstance does not accurately reflect what I am capable of becoming…

Alina